Friday, 7 June 2013
Thursday, 16 May 2013
Amanda's Comments
1. http://ff20132.blogspot.co.nz/2013/03/mollys-fan-fiction-plan.html
"This has really captivated my imagination... it's so mysterious and thrilling! This storyline has a lot of interesting possibilities, can't wait to see what path you take!"2. http://ff20132.blogspot.co.nz/2013/03/gemmas-fan-fiction-draftplan.html
"Fantastic story Gemma, I found it incredibly engaging and entertaining. And I also agree with Leigh and Shelah, just needs the grammar fixed and it'll be perfect!"3. http://ff20132.blogspot.co.nz/2013/03/shelahs-fan-fiction-draftplan.html
"Absolutely adorable story Shelah, a great pleasure to read, it's humorous and very entertaining. You write in such a way that the reader can visualise everything so vividly. I especially love the ending. Perfect spelling and grammar. Well done!"4. http://ff20132.blogspot.co.nz/2013/03/tamas-fan-fiction-draftplan.html
"Excellent poem. I like how it already sets the slightly sinister and off-beat feel of your plot. I can't agree more with Shelah, I too love the psychological dark side of Alice in Wonderland and the deep seated feeling of unease and that all is not as it should be. The fantastic visual nature of Alice in Wonderland seems to lend itself to being used as metaphors for drug use, hallucination and psychological uncertainty... I think this has the potential to be a brilliant story, can't wait to read it!"5. http://ff20132.blogspot.co.nz/2013/03/jerry-changs-fan-fiction-draftplan.html
"This sounds fascinating, a really good idea... Not sure where the story is going but it's obviously still in the early stages... Look forward to seeing how you develop it."
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Molly's fan fiction plan
When Amanda Clarke's father, David is framed for a crime he didn't commit and murdered by people he called friends, she finds a supernatural way to try and change the events that happened. But when she changes something in the past, it creates big consequences in the future.
Fan Fiction Cross-over
Revenge
Shelah's Final Fan Fiction
Gunter the Ice Emperor
A dark, frigid day begins once more in the dreaded east of the Land of Ooo. The Ice Mountains, majestic and cold, stare silently at their boisterous inhabitants.
 |
| The Ice Kingdom |
"Gunter!" a nasally voice wheedled, "Where is my crown?! You know I can't do magic without my crown! Oh, where did it go?!"
"Wenk." Gunter replied.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" the voice demanded.
Gunter stared unblinkingly at his master and replied once more, "Wenk."
"Grah! I. Am. The. Ice. King. I need my crown because kings wear crowns and I am the Ice King!" The Ice King bellowed with a snarl on his blue-skinned, white bearded face.
"...Wenk."
"Gunter! You're not helping! Just, go look for my crown or something!"
At his master's command, Gunter the penguin exited the ice cave. As he quietly waddled away from the whines and complaints of the Ice King, Gunter's expression darkened.
He slowed next to a small opening not far from his master's dwelling, an opening just big enough to fit Gunter himself.
He entered the small cave, and spoke as he waddled towards the centre, "Wenk. Wenk wenk wenk. Wenk."
His master was truly a fool. To bestow himself with the title of 'Ice King', how ridiculous. That blue idiot doesn't even know the true power of the crown. No, he, Gunter, would show him. He would show everyone! The Land of Ooo will proclaim him as their new ruler!
Gunter stopped at the centre of the little ice cave, "Wenk."
There it was, his one way ticket to ultimate power. The Ice King's crown. His crown. Gunter's crown. It was beautiful. With it's three-pointed golden stature and blood-red rubies, it was perfect. So powerful, so persuasive; and it was all his.
"Wenk. Wenk wenk." He would rule with this. No more will his people be at the mercy of the blue buffoon. His first step would be to eradicate the Ice King. Then that irritating human and his yellow dog. Loser Finn and Thick-headed Jake. From there it would be too easy.
Gunter reached for the crown resting on the make shift podium. It was time to start the plan. Today is the day, that he, the Ice Emperor, is born!
 |
| Gunter's true nature |
Flippers slightly shaking in anticipation, Gunter touched the sides of the gleaming crown. Yes, yes! Oh, he could feel it. Such delicious power! All his!
He tightened his grip on the crown and proceeded to lift it, Gunter grinned.
As he gently raised the crown, the unthinkable yet slightly expected happened. Clang! Gunter gaped in shock, "...wenk?"
What? What just happened? The crown fell? No, it slipped. Yes, it slipped. Of course. How silly of him. Right, he just needed to pick it up again. No big deal. Beginners nerves. Right.
Gunter reached for the crown again, a determined glint in his big penguin eyes. However, it slipped once more. Clang!
"Wenk!"
Gunter angrily grabbed the crown with his flippers, yet it slipped again. Clang! Grab, clang, grab, clang. Gunter had inevitably started a pattern of grabbing and dropping the crown. Grab! Clang! Grab! Clang!
His anger and frustration grew steadily. A manic expression had fixed itself on his face. Poor Gunter, his lack of opposable digits, or any digits at all, would be his biggest obstacle.
"WENK! WENK!" Gunter honked.
What is this?! Why can't I hold the crown?! I am your new master, crown! Let me hold you!
As Gunter continued his struggle within the cave, a second presence had taken notice of the rowdy noises.
"What is that noise? Gunter!" the Ice King called. He had been drawn to the boisterous sounds and had decided to investigate. "Gunter! What is going on here?"
The Ice King lowered himself to the his knees and crawled towards the opening.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." he muttered, "Gunter!"
The Ice King shoved his head in the opening and gasped loudly at what he saw. Gunter froze. He gradually turned to the passage. The Ice King and Gunter silently gazed at each other.
Gunter's thoughts swiftly turned into panic driven drivel. How? How did he find me?! I was so careful, damn this fool! I must cover my tracks! I need an excuse! Damn it all to the icy pits of penguin hell!
Meanwhile, the Ice King's thoughts were filled with a much more simple tune. Is that my crown? My glorious crown! Oh, come to daddy!
As the Ice King's eyes grew larger and sparkled with delight, Gunter greeted his 'master', "Wenk."
"You did find my crown Gunter, didn't you? Oh, you are such a good penguin!" the Ice King cooed, "Yes, you are."
Gunter decided to play along, for now. He reached for the crown and tapped it with his flipper, "Wenk."
"Yes that is my crown! Now, Gunter, I'm going to go back out and you're going to pass it to me okay? Be a good boy now Gunter!" the Ice King instructed and proceeded to pull his head out of the entrance.
"Come on Gunter, give daddy his crown." the Ice King repeated.
Gunter stared at the crown, with it's golden stature and gleaming rubies. He would give it up for now, he would wait until he had the opportunity for the crown to be placed upon his head. The crown's true and rightful place was never with that blue sad sack. But it was the 'Ice King's crown', for now. Yes...for now, he would be the dutiful penguin servant.
 |
| Gunter and The Ice King - a happy ending? |
Gunter blinked and slapped the crown until it slid outside. He followed and was greeted with the sight of the Ice King dancing and hooting, all the while showering his crown with kisses.
Gunter grimaced, "Wenk." Loathsome blue twit.
The End.
Gemma's Final Fan Fiction
Title: Easier Said Than Done
"Clean Skips' garage or you're fired!"
Moredcai and Rigby were being screamed at once again by their boss Benson, a little red bubble gum dispenser, looking like he's about to blow a fuse.
"Oh man, I just want to eat pizza, let’s throw a pizza party! We do the best pizza parties" said Rigby.
"Dude, Benson is for real this time; we have to clean the garage" Morcedcai said.
When they arrive at Skips' house they see the garage is overflowing with rubbish, but "what is that in the back? That shiny thingy" says Mordecai.
As the get closer they start seeing the words T-E-L-E-P-O-R "Dude, it's a teleporter! Let's use it, please, please, please." Rigby said.
Rigby presses the big red power button 'click' whoosh, whoosh the machine starts up.
"WHERE SHOULD WE GO?" they each scream over the horrendously loud noise.
"I'm just gonna push some buttons and see where we go, scream for OK" Rigby said.
"WHAT?" screamed Mordecai 'beep, beep, beep' "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT THING!" The machine starts shaking, a bright light appears,
And
"WHERE DID THEY GO? THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING SKIPS' GARAGE!" Benson bellows.
"Dude, where are we?" Says Rigby
"Dude, why did you do that? Now we don't know where we are and Benson in going to fire us!" Mordecai says angrily.
"This place is so colourful and weird" Says Mordecai in awe
"Should we go explore?"
"Might as well" Mordecai says.
Mordecai and Rigby have been transported to The Land of Ooo. It's covered in green mountains rolling down into the fields, filled with an abundance of villages. These aren't any normal villages as Mordecai and Rigby are about to find out.
The Land of Ooo seems to be the aftermath of a mushroom war. It is a post-apocalyptic earth, with bits of modern technology spread across the land, from the rolling green mountains to the icy peaks of Ice Kingdom.
"Dude, what's that over there?" Mordecai says
"It's just a tree, nothing special" Says Rigby
"Nah dude, it has windows" Mordecai replies
"It's a house! Should we go inside?"
At that moment, what seemed to be a boy and a dog came running out of the tree. The boy had shinning blonde hair covered by a white beanie with ears of a bear and the dog was really elastic and as yellow as a yoke.
"Ahh! Who are you? What do you want?" Finn the Human asks
"Yeeeaaah" says Jake the Dog with a pondering face
"We, we, we are Mordecai and Rigby" says Mordecai
"We came through this portal thing and we don't know how to get back" says Rigby
"Who are you?" asks Mordecai
"I'm Finn and he's Jake" says Finn
Rigby says "uh we can hear you talking about us".
Finn says "Oh he wasn't talking about you he was talking about uh th-"
"You don't need to lie, but anyway you can trust us" Mordecai interrupts with a cheesy grin.
"Okay" says Finn cheerfully
"We can help get you back-"
"But first we need a teleporter, Get me an apple pie, a big satellite dish looking thing and a microwave" interrupts Jake
"Okay we'll be back" says Rigby
"We found an apple pie on a ladies windowsill, this broken microwave looking thing and a dish right? We found this metal bowl"
"Will this work?" asks Mordecai
"I just wanted an apple pie, I can't make a teleporter" Says Jake
"Why did you make us get that stuff then?" says Rigby in Anger
"Because you wouldn't have brought me an apple pie otherwise".
"We were just off to see one of our friends, when you guy's showed up at our house, maybe she can help with your problem, and she’s really smart"
"And she's a Princess!" Jake Proclaims
"That would be great! Cause you see all we were doing was cleaning out this guy's garage because our boss made us, and now here we are". explains Mordecai
Rigby mumbles under his breath "I don't know, they might be trying to kill us now, that dog gives me the creeps"
"We are nearly at Candy Kingdom, but I must warn you, DON'T EAT THE CANDY PEOPLE! Or I will have to kill you" Says Finn
"Dude, are you alright? Candy people, you're starting to sound a little crazy" Says Mordecai with a hint of fear.
"You'll see" says Finn
"Hi Peppermint Butler, we came to See PB and we brought some friends, where's she at?" Says Finn
"That's the princess, Princess Bubble-gum" explains Jake
Rigby shouts "CAAND-"
"NO!" shouts Mordecai "THEY'RE PEOPLE!"
"But I want candy" sulks Rigby
"Okay... Finn she's in the lab" says Peppermint Butler with fear in his voice as he runs away
"What are you doing?"
"Oh I'm just testing the chemical reaction between Sodium and water in chlorine gas"
"Uh cool" Finn says with a puzzled look on his face
"Anyway we brought our friends they need to back to-"
"THE PARK!" interrupts Mordecai and Rigby
"Where is the park?" asks PB
"Park Av 300" says Mordecai
"How did you get here anyway? To The Land of Ooo I mean"
"We had to clean out this guy's garage that we work with because our boss was screaming at us, and if we didn't he would fire us. We found a teleporter in the garage and well you know the rest" says Mordecai
"Lucky I have a teleportation device sitting around her somewhere"
"Finn and Jake stand away from the teleportation device you don't want to be sucked in"
Princess Bubble-gum mumbles as she presses buttons "Park Av 300"
"Okay, it's ready to go, stand in front of it and when it opens a portal walk in".
"Thanks, If you guys wanna come see us sometime you can, I don't think Benson will mind" Says Rigby
"Cool, we'll see you then" says Finn
The teleporter starts shaking and making the same whoosh sound as the one in Skips' garage, a portal opens and a bright light shines through.
"Well, see ya" Mordecai and Rigby say
"Bye!" Finn, Jake and Princess Bubble-gum wave
Time flies past Mordecai and Rigby eyes; they see old memories and clocks changing time at the speed of light.
"We're home!" Yells Rigby
"Let's never do that again" says Mordecai
"Agreed"
"Where have you two been?" Benson screams from inside the house
"We went to this place, and there was this boy and this dog, and candy peop-" says Rigby
"We were playing with Skips old toys, sorry Benson" Mordecai interrupts
"Actually Benson" says Skips in his husky manly voice with a hint of wisdom "there is an old teleporter in my garage and the boys got sucked into it, it's faulty and needs to be destroyed"
"You guys are lucky Skips was here, otherwise you would have been fired" exclaims Benson
"Yuss! So how about that pizza party?" says Rigby
"Right after you have cleaned out Skips' Garage" Benson says "you weren't getting out of it that easily"
The End
It was a lovely day in the park,
dogs chasing Frisbees, green grass blowing gently in the summer breeze when...
"Clean Skips' garage or you're fired!"
Moredcai and Rigby were being screamed at once again by their boss Benson, a little red bubble gum dispenser, looking like he's about to blow a fuse.
"Oh man, I just want to eat pizza, let’s throw a pizza party! We do the best pizza parties" said Rigby.
"Dude, Benson is for real this time; we have to clean the garage" Morcedcai said.
When they arrive at Skips' house they see the garage is overflowing with rubbish, but "what is that in the back? That shiny thingy" says Mordecai.
As the get closer they start seeing the words T-E-L-E-P-O-R "Dude, it's a teleporter! Let's use it, please, please, please." Rigby said.
Rigby presses the big red power button 'click' whoosh, whoosh the machine starts up.
"WHERE SHOULD WE GO?" they each scream over the horrendously loud noise.
"I'm just gonna push some buttons and see where we go, scream for OK" Rigby said.
"WHAT?" screamed Mordecai 'beep, beep, beep' "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT THING!" The machine starts shaking, a bright light appears,
And
"WHERE DID THEY GO? THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING SKIPS' GARAGE!" Benson bellows.
"Dude, where are we?" Says Rigby
"Dude, why did you do that? Now we don't know where we are and Benson in going to fire us!" Mordecai says angrily.
"This place is so colourful and weird" Says Mordecai in awe
"Should we go explore?"
"Might as well" Mordecai says.
Mordecai and Rigby have been transported to The Land of Ooo. It's covered in green mountains rolling down into the fields, filled with an abundance of villages. These aren't any normal villages as Mordecai and Rigby are about to find out.
The Land of Ooo seems to be the aftermath of a mushroom war. It is a post-apocalyptic earth, with bits of modern technology spread across the land, from the rolling green mountains to the icy peaks of Ice Kingdom.
"Dude, what's that over there?" Mordecai says
"It's just a tree, nothing special" Says Rigby
"Nah dude, it has windows" Mordecai replies
"It's a house! Should we go inside?"
At that moment, what seemed to be a boy and a dog came running out of the tree. The boy had shinning blonde hair covered by a white beanie with ears of a bear and the dog was really elastic and as yellow as a yoke.
"Ahh! Who are you? What do you want?" Finn the Human asks
"Yeeeaaah" says Jake the Dog with a pondering face
"We, we, we are Mordecai and Rigby" says Mordecai
"We came through this portal thing and we don't know how to get back" says Rigby
"Who are you?" asks Mordecai
"I'm Finn and he's Jake" says Finn
Jake whispers to Finn "I don't trust these guys; I mean look
at them, a talking Bird and a talking Raccoon, something just not right".
Rigby says "uh we can hear you talking about us".
Finn says "Oh he wasn't talking about you he was talking about uh th-"
"You don't need to lie, but anyway you can trust us" Mordecai interrupts with a cheesy grin.
"Okay" says Finn cheerfully
"We can help get you back-"
"But first we need a teleporter, Get me an apple pie, a big satellite dish looking thing and a microwave" interrupts Jake
"Okay we'll be back" says Rigby
"We found an apple pie on a ladies windowsill, this broken microwave looking thing and a dish right? We found this metal bowl"
"Will this work?" asks Mordecai
"I just wanted an apple pie, I can't make a teleporter" Says Jake
"Why did you make us get that stuff then?" says Rigby in Anger
"Because you wouldn't have brought me an apple pie otherwise".
"We were just off to see one of our friends, when you guy's showed up at our house, maybe she can help with your problem, and she’s really smart"
"And she's a Princess!" Jake Proclaims
"That would be great! Cause you see all we were doing was cleaning out this guy's garage because our boss made us, and now here we are". explains Mordecai
Rigby mumbles under his breath "I don't know, they might be trying to kill us now, that dog gives me the creeps"
"We are nearly at Candy Kingdom, but I must warn you, DON'T EAT THE CANDY PEOPLE! Or I will have to kill you" Says Finn
"Dude, are you alright? Candy people, you're starting to sound a little crazy" Says Mordecai with a hint of fear.
"You'll see" says Finn
"Hi Peppermint Butler, we came to See PB and we brought some friends, where's she at?" Says Finn
"That's the princess, Princess Bubble-gum" explains Jake
Rigby shouts "CAAND-"
"NO!" shouts Mordecai "THEY'RE PEOPLE!"
"But I want candy" sulks Rigby
"Okay... Finn she's in the lab" says Peppermint Butler with fear in his voice as he runs away
"Hey Finn"
"What are you doing?"
"Oh I'm just testing the chemical reaction between Sodium and water in chlorine gas"
"Uh cool" Finn says with a puzzled look on his face
"Anyway we brought our friends they need to back to-"
"THE PARK!" interrupts Mordecai and Rigby
"Where is the park?" asks PB
"Park Av 300" says Mordecai
"How did you get here anyway? To The Land of Ooo I mean"
"We had to clean out this guy's garage that we work with because our boss was screaming at us, and if we didn't he would fire us. We found a teleporter in the garage and well you know the rest" says Mordecai
"Lucky I have a teleportation device sitting around her somewhere"
"Finn and Jake stand away from the teleportation device you don't want to be sucked in"
Princess Bubble-gum mumbles as she presses buttons "Park Av 300"
"Okay, it's ready to go, stand in front of it and when it opens a portal walk in".
"Thanks, If you guys wanna come see us sometime you can, I don't think Benson will mind" Says Rigby
"Cool, we'll see you then" says Finn
The teleporter starts shaking and making the same whoosh sound as the one in Skips' garage, a portal opens and a bright light shines through.
"Well, see ya" Mordecai and Rigby say
"Bye!" Finn, Jake and Princess Bubble-gum wave
Time flies past Mordecai and Rigby eyes; they see old memories and clocks changing time at the speed of light.
"We're home!" Yells Rigby
"Let's never do that again" says Mordecai
"Agreed"
"Where have you two been?" Benson screams from inside the house
"We went to this place, and there was this boy and this dog, and candy peop-" says Rigby
"We were playing with Skips old toys, sorry Benson" Mordecai interrupts
"Actually Benson" says Skips in his husky manly voice with a hint of wisdom "there is an old teleporter in my garage and the boys got sucked into it, it's faulty and needs to be destroyed"
"You guys are lucky Skips was here, otherwise you would have been fired" exclaims Benson
"Yuss! So how about that pizza party?" says Rigby
"Right after you have cleaned out Skips' Garage" Benson says "you weren't getting out of it that easily"
The End
Amanda's Final Fan Fiction
PAIN
Karen looked around.
Coloured lights flashing. Loud music blaring. Bodies moving rhythmically to the beat. She felt hot. Flushed. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. She felt clammy. Thirsty. Her head hurt. Her teeth kept grinding together and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She couldn't swallow, her nose and back of her throat were numb, as were her front teeth.
She was fidgety. She wanted another hit. Another line. Anything to make her forget. What was it that he had said? She couldn't remember just now. The cocaine made her numb.
THINK! She couldn't. Her hands were twitching, palms sweating. She looked at the table. Several perfect 6cm white lines of powder neatly in a row and a rolled up dollar bill. She took the make shift straw and put it in her nose, snorting two of the white lines.
 |
| Karen van der Beek |
Hank was gone. Becca too. She was ruined. Her world torn apart. It was too much for her to bare. How did it come to this?
It was Hank who was out of control. Hank who was the addict. Drugs, sex, alcohol. That was Hank's thing. But then he got clean. He got sane. And he got himself as far away from her as possible, taking their daughter with him. Back to New York. Back home. Back to where they first started, leaving her all alone in L.A.
Karen needed a drink. Something to take the edge off. She grab the bottle of champaign from the ice bucket next to the table, poured herself a glass and quickly sculled it back. She did this a second time, feeling the warmth of alcohol spread through her.
She never meant to go this far. She never meant to loose herself like this. She just wanted to show Hank what he was doing to her and Becca and give him back some of his own. She only meant to go out, go wild for a week or two until Hank came to his senses. And to that end she had certainly succeeded.
He went cold turkey, sobered up, changed his life. And the irony? She couldn't stop. She had become the addict.
It was just such a good antidote to the pain. All the pain and emotional turmoil that life had put her through.
But now she had lost them both. And herself.
AARRGH! She shook her head. Stop thinking about it! She stood up, unsteady on her feet, not knowing where she was going. She suddenly had to get out of this place. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, the walls had started to close in. But she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to be alone.
 |
Becca and Hank Moody
|
Karen stumbled to the bathroom. She need some peace. She was feeling incredibly nauseous. She went to the mirror and stared at her reflection. Her mascara had run. She looked like shit. Her nose had begun to bleed. FUCK I'M A MESS! I MESSED UP! OH FUCK!
She turned on the tap and tried to clean up herself up. Her nausea was getting worse and her head was dizzy. She clutched onto the edges of the sink, put her head down watching the water whirlpool down the plughole. The ends of her hair were getting wet. She didn't care.
Suddenly the room started to spin and Karen threw up. Beads of sweat formed all over her body. She tried to keep herself propped up on the sink, but she couldn't hold her weight. She slid to the floor as she vomited again, her body trembling.
She curled up into a tight ball on the floor. She couldn't breath. Her nose was bleeding profusely. “Help! Somebody please..” She tried to to call out, but her voice came out a whisper. It's all she could muster.
She began silently sobbing to herself. Images of Hank floated through her mind. There had been so much love, once. There had always been laughter. She always believed they would get back together, grow old together, once Hank sorted his shit out.
And Becca, oh God, beautiful Becca, the product of their love. She had always thought she'd been a good mother to her. They were each other's anchor while Hank was off sleeping around, partying, neglecting them.
But none of that mattered now. Karen was writhing on the bathroom floor, shaking, frothing at the mouth. She realised she had overdosed. But she was helpless. She had tunnel vision, the room was darkening.
She began to loose consciousness. Suddenly, she remembered what Hank had said before he left.
"I can't bare to watch you be who I was. I have failed you. You have failed me. We only hurt each other. So we obviously can't be together. Ever.”
Karen's heart ached with pain. Everything went black. Her body stilled as a single tear fell down her cheek.
THE END
Gemma's Fan Fiction draft/plan
Fan Fiction website.
Breakfast Club.
Alice in Wonderland.
Adventure Time and Regular show cross over. yeeees.
I was thinking of doing this cross over, but having it based in regular show and have Finn The Human and Jake The Dog come into The Regular Show world as if it is them coming into reality. I'm not sure if I will still have Mordecai and Rigby living in this world as themselves, or if I will just cut them.
Not sure if i will base this on an original episode yet, maybe Finn and Jake can save the day as they do Adventure time.
Links:
My secret daughter.
Summary Benson is left hard and cold after the mushroom war. It didn't do him any good. He had to shoot down innocent men. That was 10 years ago. Now Benson must contain everything and work as a manager for a park, bottling up the war. When a daughter he never knew about comes back, he must be the best father a man can be.
Critical Evaluation: I find this writing style interesting, I like how it is told by Benson as he is retelling the events of the day, however as it gets further into it I find that the short sentences turn into paragraphs, which changes the way it all looks and sounds. One think I didn't like too much was the fact that the story went back in time, it took away from the original story line and at first I was left a little confused. I am also not too sure how the title fits in with the story line. All in all, I didn't really enjoy reading this.
Sour Gumballs
Summary Princess Bubblegum is once again left in pieces. There's not enough left of her to make her 18, and the Candy people, save Dr. Ice Cream have gone missing. In search of candy flesh, Finn and Jake go to the Regular Show universe using PB's new invention.
Critical Evaluation: This story line relates to mine as it is about teleporting to another dimension, and the way it is written is similar to my writing style as well, I feel this story would be a good one to use as a guideline because they are relatable. However I do think it needs more 'punch' as I find it drags on a bit, it needs some humour to really keep the audience involved.
Somewhere safe
Summary Mordecai's on the Run from Benson through the House, when Pop's shows him a delivery he got in the mail. It leads him to a certain Vampire Queen.
Critical Evaluation: This style of writing is much like the others, I like it though as it is easy on the eye; it makes it feel as though you aren't reading too much. That writing style draws the reader in. I am finding a real pattern with the story lines all having a transportation device, as this is the idea I have for my FanFic i may be ablt to use these are good guidelines.
Adventure Time with Mordecai and Rigby.
Summary Benson gives all the workers the summer off! But something weird starts happening and Mordecai and Rigby get transported to the land of ooo find out what happens
Critical Evaluation: I like the idea of this story line, however it is too short. I like how they are teleported to The Land of Ooo, as it isn't the same as the others, it is a real different approach. However I don't like the writing style, as they change lines when a sentence isn't complete. It draws away form the story because there isn't a constant flow. The sentences are chopped.
Part 2 of Adventure Time with Mordecai and Rigby.
Summary The gang are almost to Princess Bubble Gum find out how it goes!
Critical Evaluation: I have the same opinion about this FanFic as i did the last one, because this is the second part. They are both too short and not a lot happens, before you know it the story is over before it has begun. I think both these FanFic's should be put into one as they really aren't complete different parts. I'm not too sure what the writer was trying to accomplish with this but u don't like it.
Legends of the underworld.
Summary The park and the entire city is being infested by zombies once again. Mordecai, Rigby and the rest of the gang now get help from a boy with a white bear hat and a yellow bulldog with magical powers. This is probably the first crossover where the characters don't know each other at all.
Critical Evaluation: This FanFic engaged my interest fast, I wanted to keep reading, however it was finished in a matter of seconds. I also did not like the way Finn and Jake were introduced, I like that they were acting the hero's from the get go, however they just needed to have more 'pow' in the way they came into the story. It felt as if they didn't really know how to introduce them, so that thought they would just have them walk in.
Plot: Mordecai and Rigby, a Blue Jay standing tall and a short brown raccoon with a ring tail like a lema. ( The Regular Show) have been asked to do a job by their boss Benson as usual, but something happens along the way, they get sucked into a teleporter; and arrive in The Land of Ooo, where they stumble across Finn the Human and Jake the Dog (Adventure Time).
POV: Third person
Genre: Ironic cartoon, animation, comedy
Draft:
It was a lovely day in the park,
dogs chasing Frisbees, green grass blowing gently in the summer breeze when...
Moredcai and Rigby were being screamed at once again by their boss Benson, A little red bubble gum dispenser, looking like he's about to blow a fuse.
"Oh man, I just want to eat pizza, let’s throw a pizza party! We do the best pizza parties" said Rigby.
"Dude, Benson is for real this time; we have to clean the garage" Morcedcai said.
When they arrive at Skips' house they see the garage is overflowing with rubbish, but "what is that in the back? That shiny thingy" says Mordecai.
"Dude, let's check it out" said Rigby.
As the get closer they start seeing the words T-E-L-E-P-O-R "Dude, it's a teleporter! Let's use it, please, please, please." Rigby said.
Rigby presses the big red power button 'click' whoosh, whoosh the machine starts up.
"WHERE SHOULD WE GO?" they each scream over the horrendously loud noise.
"I'm just gonna push some buttons and see where we go, scream for OK" Rigby said.
"WHAT?" screamed Mordecai 'beep, beep, beep' "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT THING!" The machine starts shaking, a bright light appears,
And
"WHERE DID THEY GO? THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING SKIPS' GARAGE!" Benson bellows.
"Dude, where are we?" Says Rigby
"Dude, why did you do that? Now we don't know where we are and Benson in going to fire us!" Mordecai says angrily.
"This place is so colourful and weird" Says Mordecai in awe
"I don't like it" Rigby says.
"Should we go explore?"
"Might as well" Mordecai says.
Mordecai and Rigby have been transported to The Land of Ooo. It's covered in green mountains rolling down into the fields, filled with an abundance of villages. These aren't any normal villages as Mordecai and Rigby are about to find out.
The Land of Ooo seems to be the aftermath of a mushroom war. It is a post-apocalyptic earth, with bits of modern technology spread across the land, from the rolling green mountains to the icy peaks of Ice Kingdom.
"Dude, what's that over there?" Mordecai says
"It's just a tree, nothing special" Says Rigby
"Nah dude, it has windows" Mordecai replies
"It's a house! Should we go inside?"
At that moment, what seemed to be a boy and a dog came running out of the tree. The boy had shinning blonde hair covered by a white beanie with ears of a bear and the dog was really elastic and as yellow as a yoke.
"Ahh! Who are you? What do you want?" Finn the Human asks
"Yeeeaaah" says Jake the Dog with a pondering face
"We, we, we are Mordecai and Rigby" says Mordecai
"We came through this portal thing and we don't know how to get back" says Rigby
"Who are you?" asks Mordecai
"I'm Finn and he's Jake" says Finn
Jake whispers to Finn "I don't trust these guys; I mean look
at them, a talking Bird and a talking Raccoon, something just not right".
Rigby says "uh we can hear you talking about us".
Finn says "Oh he wasn't talking about you he was talking about uh th-"
"You don't need to lie, but anyway you can trust us" Mordecai interrupts with a cheesy grin.
"Okay" says Finn cheerfully
"We can help get you back-"
"But first we need a teleporter, Get me an apple pie, a big satellite dish looking thing and a microwave" interrupts Jake
"Okay we'll be back" says Rigby
"We found an apple pie on a ladies windowsill, this broken microwave looking thing and a dish right? We found this metal bowl"
"Will this work?" asks Mordecai
"I just wanted an apple pie, I can't make a teleporter" Says Jake
"Why did you make us get that stuff then?" says Rigby in Anger
"Because you wouldn't have brought me an apple pie otherwise".
"We were just off to see one of our friends, when you guy's showed up at our house, maybe she can help with your problem, and she’s really smart"
"And she's a Princess!" Jake Proclaims
"That would be great! Cause you see all we were doing was cleaning out this guy's garage because our boss made us, and now here we are". Explains Mordecai
Rigby mumbles under his breathe "I don't know, they might be trying to kill us now, that dog gives me the creeps"
"We are nearly at Candy Kingdom, but I must warn you, DON'T EAT THE CANDY PEOPLE! Or I will have to kill you" Says Finn
"Dude, are you alright? Candy people, you're starting to sound a little crazy" Says Mordecai with a hint of fear.
"You'll see" says Finn
"Hi Peppermint Butler, we came to See PB and we brought some friends, where's she at?" Says Finn
"That's the princess, Princess Bubble-gum" explains Jake
Rigby shouts "CAAND-"
"NO!" shouts Mordecai "THEY'RE PEOPLE!"
"But I want candy" sulks Rigby
"Okay... Finn she's in the lab" says Peppermint Butler with fear in his voice as he runs away
"Hey PB!"
"Hey Finn"
"What are you doing?"
"Oh I'm just testing the chemical reaction between Sodium and water in chlorine gas"
"Uh cool" Finn says with a puzzled look on his face
"Anyway we brought our friends they need to back to-"
"THE PARK!" interrupts Mordecai and Rigby
"Where is the park?" asks PB
"Park Av 300" says Mordecai
"How did you get here anyway? To The Land of Ooo I mean"
"We had to clean out this guy's garage that we work with because our boss was screaming at us, and if we didn't he would fire us. We found a teleporter in the garage and well you know the rest" says Mordecai
"Lucky I have a teleportation device sitting around her somewhere"
"Finn and Jake stand away from the teleportation device you don't want to be sucked in"
Princess Bubble-gum mumbles as she presses buttons "Park Av 300"
"Okay, it's ready to go, stand in front of it and when it opens a portal walk in".
"Thanks, If you guys wanna come see us sometime you can, I don't think Benson will mind" Says Rigby
"Cool, we'll see you then" says Finn
The teleporter starts shaking and making the same whoosh sound as the one in Skips' garage, a portal opens and a bright light shines through.
"Well, see ya" Mordecai and Rigby say
"Bye!" Finn, Jake and Princess Bubble-gum wave
Time flies past Mordecai and Rigby eyes; they see old memories and clocks changing time at the speed of light.
"We're home!" Yells Rigby
"Let's never do that again" says Mordecai
"Agreed"
"Where have you two been?" Benson screams from inside the house
"We went to this place, and there was this boy and this dog, and candy peop-" says Rigby
"We were playing with Skips old toys, sorry Benson" Mordecai interrupts
"Actually Benson" says Skips in his husky manly voice with a hint of wisdom "there is an old teleporter in my garage and the boys got sucked into it, it's faulty and needs to be destroyed"
"You guys are lucky Skips was here, otherwise you would have been fired" exclaims Benson
"Yuss! So how about that pizza party?" says Rigby
"Right after you have cleaned out Skips' Garage" Benson says "you weren't getting out of it that easily"
The End
Shelah's Fan Fiction Draft/Plan
Been tossing around some ideas for my fan fiction piece and as silly as it sounds I'll be dabbling with the cartoon series Adventure Time with Finn and Jake. Lighthearted, fun, good morals; and I can twist it enough for my own use.
I'll be doing a fan fiction which is sligthly AU since Gunter in my story will be a lot more developed in terms of character. I'll be following the series by doing an 'episode' - which will be my fan fiction piece.
Title: Gunter the Ice Emperor
Plot: Gunter's attempt to rule the Land of Ooo does not go as planned.
Characters: Protagonist - The Ice King Antagonist - Gunter
POV: 3rd person
Style and Genre: GenFic, Humour
Rating: T (Teens)
List of Fan Fiction I found that may be more or less related to mine;
Draft:
I'll be doing a fan fiction which is sligthly AU since Gunter in my story will be a lot more developed in terms of character. I'll be following the series by doing an 'episode' - which will be my fan fiction piece.
Title: Gunter the Ice Emperor
Plot: Gunter's attempt to rule the Land of Ooo does not go as planned.
Characters: Protagonist - The Ice King Antagonist - Gunter
POV: 3rd person
Style and Genre: GenFic, Humour
Rating: T (Teens)
List of Fan Fiction I found that may be more or less related to mine;
- Adventure Time: The Awakening of Heroes Summary: The Lich is back and his only purpose is to take revenge over the land of Ooo. There's only one way to stop him from destroying the world; eight ancient weapons must be gathered but only true heroes can unleash their real power. With his friends' help, Finn sets out on a quest that will change their lives forever…
- Adventure Awaits Summary: It's Finn's birthday, but due to the unexpected arrival of their brother Jermaine, Marceline's field trip, Bubblegum's surprise party and a surprise kidnapping, Jake wonders if he will ever be able to give his gift to Finn.
- Magic Trials Summary: Saving princesses has always been part of Finn and Jake's job. So what happens when Marceline gets captured? Can they save her? Or is she the ones who needs to save them? And what chaos will come if Magic Man is involved?
- Revenge Summary: Finn accidentally lets it slide that Marceline is a queen. Now the dreaded Ice King wants to marry her, but is there some sort of catch to this marriage? Is it all a part of someone elses plan for revenge?
- Blood Ties Summary: After Marceline comes down with a rare disease known as the vampire flu, a mysterious doctor shows up saying he can cure Marceline. Unable to trust this mysterious doctor, Bubblegum looks into the disease and realizes it can kill Marceline if they don't find the cure. Finn and Jake race against the clock as they go out in search of the cure's location. Will they succeed?
Draft:
A dark, frigid day begins once more in the dreaded east of the Land of Ooo. The Ice Mountains, majestic and cold, stare silently at their boisterous inhabitants.
"Gunter!" a nasally voice wheedled, "Where is my crown?! You know I can't do magic without my crown! Oh, where did it go?!"
"Wak." Gunter replied.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" the voice demanded.
Gunter stared unblinkingly at his master and replied once more, "Wak."
"Grah! I. Am. The. Ice. King. I need my crown because kings wear crowns and I am the Ice King!" The Ice King bellowed with a snarl on his blue-skinned, white bearded face.
"...Wak."
"Gunter! You're not helping! Just, go look for my crown or something!"
At his master's command, Gunter the penguin exited the ice cave. As he quietly waddled away from the whines and complaints of the Ice King, Gunter's expression darkened.
He slowed next to a small opening not far from his master's dwelling, an opening just big enough to fit Gunter himself.
He entered the small cave, and spoke as he waddled towards the centre, "Wak. Wak wak wak. Wak."
His master was truly a fool. To bestow himself with the title of 'Ice King', how ridiculous. That blue idiot doesn't even know the true power of the crown. No, he, Gunter, would show him. He would show everyone! The Land of Ooo will proclaim him as their new ruler!
Gunter stopped at the centre of the little ice cave, "Wak."
There it was, his one way ticket to ultimate power. The Ice King's crown. His crown. Gunter's crown. It was beautiful. With it's three-pointed golden stature and blood-red rubies, it was perfect. So powerful, so persuasive; and it was all his.
"Wak. Wak wak." He would rule with this. No more will his people be at the mercy of the blue buffoon. His first step would be to eradicate the Ice King. Then that irritating human and his yellow dog, Finn and Jake. From there it would be too easy.
Gunter reached for the crown resting on the make shift podium. It was time to start the plan. Today is the day, that he, the Ice Emperor, is born!
Flippers slightly shaking in anticipation, Gunter touched the sides of the gleaming crown. Yes, yes! Oh, he could feel it. Such delicious power! All his!
He tightened his grip on the crown and proceeded to lift it, Gunter grinned.
As he gently raised the crown, the unthinkable yet slightly expected happened. Clang! Gunter gaped in shock, "...wak?"
What? What just happened? The crown fell? No, it slipped. Yes, it slipped. Of course. How silly of him. Right, he just needed to pick it up again. No big deal. Beginners nerves. Right.
Gunter reached for the crown again, a determined glint in his big penguin eyes. However, it slipped once more. Clang!
"Wak!"
Gunter angrily grabbed the crown with his flippers, yet it slipped again. Clang! Grab, clang, grab, clang. Gunter had started a pattern of inevitably grabbing and dropping the crown. Grab! Clang! Grab! Clang!
His anger and frustration grew steadily. A manic expression had fixed itself on his face. Poor Gunter, his lack of opposable digits, or any digits at all, would be his biggest obstacle.
"WAK! WAK!" Gunter honked.
What is this?! Why can't I hold the crown?! I am your new master, crown! Let me hold you!
As Gunter continued his struggle within the cave, a second presence had taken notice of the rowdy noises from the little cave.
"What is that noise? Gunter!" the Ice King called. He had been drawn to the boisterous sounds and had decided to investigate. "Gunter! What is going on here?"
The Ice King lowered himself to the his knees and crawled towards the opening.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." he muttered, "Gunter!"
The Ice King shoved his head in the opening and gasped loudly at what he saw. Gunter hearing the gasp froze. He turned to opening. The Ice King and Gunter stared.
Gunter's thoughts turned to panic driven drivel. How? How did he find me?! I was so careful, damn this fool! I must cover my tracks! I need an excuse! Damn it all to the icy pits of penguin hell!
Meanwhile, the Ice King's thoughts were filled with a much more simple tune. Is that my crown? My glorious crown! Oh, come to daddy!
As the Ice King's eyes grew larger and sparkled with delight, Gunter greeted his 'master', "Wak."
"You did find my crown Gunter, didn't you? Oh, you are such a good penguin!" the Ice King cooed, "Yes, you are."
Gunter decided to play along, for now. He reached for the crown and tapped it with his flipper, "Wak."
"Yes that is my crown! Now, Gunter, I'm going to go back out and you're going to pass it to me okay? Be a good boy now Gunter!" the Ice King instructed and proceeded to pull his head out of the entrance.
"Come on Gunter, give daddy his crown." the Ice King repeated.
Gunter stared at the crown, with it's golden stature and gleaming rubies. He would give it up for now, he would wait until he had the opportunity for the crown to be placed upon his head. The crown's true and rightful place was never with that blue sad sack. But it was the 'Ice King's crown', for now. Yes, for now, he would be the dutiful penguin servant.
Gunter blinked and slapped the crown until it slid outside. He followed and was greeted with the sight of the Ice King dancing and hooting, all the while showering his crown with kisses. Disgusting blue idiot.
The End.
"Gunter!" a nasally voice wheedled, "Where is my crown?! You know I can't do magic without my crown! Oh, where did it go?!"
"Wak." Gunter replied.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" the voice demanded.
Gunter stared unblinkingly at his master and replied once more, "Wak."
"Grah! I. Am. The. Ice. King. I need my crown because kings wear crowns and I am the Ice King!" The Ice King bellowed with a snarl on his blue-skinned, white bearded face.
"...Wak."
"Gunter! You're not helping! Just, go look for my crown or something!"
At his master's command, Gunter the penguin exited the ice cave. As he quietly waddled away from the whines and complaints of the Ice King, Gunter's expression darkened.
He slowed next to a small opening not far from his master's dwelling, an opening just big enough to fit Gunter himself.
He entered the small cave, and spoke as he waddled towards the centre, "Wak. Wak wak wak. Wak."
His master was truly a fool. To bestow himself with the title of 'Ice King', how ridiculous. That blue idiot doesn't even know the true power of the crown. No, he, Gunter, would show him. He would show everyone! The Land of Ooo will proclaim him as their new ruler!
Gunter stopped at the centre of the little ice cave, "Wak."
There it was, his one way ticket to ultimate power. The Ice King's crown. His crown. Gunter's crown. It was beautiful. With it's three-pointed golden stature and blood-red rubies, it was perfect. So powerful, so persuasive; and it was all his.
"Wak. Wak wak." He would rule with this. No more will his people be at the mercy of the blue buffoon. His first step would be to eradicate the Ice King. Then that irritating human and his yellow dog, Finn and Jake. From there it would be too easy.
Gunter reached for the crown resting on the make shift podium. It was time to start the plan. Today is the day, that he, the Ice Emperor, is born!
Flippers slightly shaking in anticipation, Gunter touched the sides of the gleaming crown. Yes, yes! Oh, he could feel it. Such delicious power! All his!
He tightened his grip on the crown and proceeded to lift it, Gunter grinned.
As he gently raised the crown, the unthinkable yet slightly expected happened. Clang! Gunter gaped in shock, "...wak?"
What? What just happened? The crown fell? No, it slipped. Yes, it slipped. Of course. How silly of him. Right, he just needed to pick it up again. No big deal. Beginners nerves. Right.
Gunter reached for the crown again, a determined glint in his big penguin eyes. However, it slipped once more. Clang!
"Wak!"
Gunter angrily grabbed the crown with his flippers, yet it slipped again. Clang! Grab, clang, grab, clang. Gunter had started a pattern of inevitably grabbing and dropping the crown. Grab! Clang! Grab! Clang!
His anger and frustration grew steadily. A manic expression had fixed itself on his face. Poor Gunter, his lack of opposable digits, or any digits at all, would be his biggest obstacle.
"WAK! WAK!" Gunter honked.
What is this?! Why can't I hold the crown?! I am your new master, crown! Let me hold you!
As Gunter continued his struggle within the cave, a second presence had taken notice of the rowdy noises from the little cave.
"What is that noise? Gunter!" the Ice King called. He had been drawn to the boisterous sounds and had decided to investigate. "Gunter! What is going on here?"
The Ice King lowered himself to the his knees and crawled towards the opening.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." he muttered, "Gunter!"
The Ice King shoved his head in the opening and gasped loudly at what he saw. Gunter hearing the gasp froze. He turned to opening. The Ice King and Gunter stared.
Gunter's thoughts turned to panic driven drivel. How? How did he find me?! I was so careful, damn this fool! I must cover my tracks! I need an excuse! Damn it all to the icy pits of penguin hell!
Meanwhile, the Ice King's thoughts were filled with a much more simple tune. Is that my crown? My glorious crown! Oh, come to daddy!
As the Ice King's eyes grew larger and sparkled with delight, Gunter greeted his 'master', "Wak."
"You did find my crown Gunter, didn't you? Oh, you are such a good penguin!" the Ice King cooed, "Yes, you are."
Gunter decided to play along, for now. He reached for the crown and tapped it with his flipper, "Wak."
"Yes that is my crown! Now, Gunter, I'm going to go back out and you're going to pass it to me okay? Be a good boy now Gunter!" the Ice King instructed and proceeded to pull his head out of the entrance.
"Come on Gunter, give daddy his crown." the Ice King repeated.
Gunter stared at the crown, with it's golden stature and gleaming rubies. He would give it up for now, he would wait until he had the opportunity for the crown to be placed upon his head. The crown's true and rightful place was never with that blue sad sack. But it was the 'Ice King's crown', for now. Yes, for now, he would be the dutiful penguin servant.
Gunter blinked and slapped the crown until it slid outside. He followed and was greeted with the sight of the Ice King dancing and hooting, all the while showering his crown with kisses. Disgusting blue idiot.
The End.
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